


New Year

by KittieHill



Category: Black Books
Genre: First Orgasm, First Time, Oral Sex, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2018-01-12 20:56:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1199982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittieHill/pseuds/KittieHill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Wrote this because i was watching Black Books and i think Dylan Moran is the sex... so yeh. Filth for no other reason</p>
    </blockquote>





	New Year

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this because i was watching Black Books and i think Dylan Moran is the sex... so yeh. Filth for no other reason

It was Ten pm, London was busier than normal much to Bernard’s disgust. People stamped on his toes as he attempted to walk to the bar and drunks leaned into his face grumbling their complaints or shouting ‘I love you mate’ at the Irishman. He could feel the rage building inside of him until he spotted Fran across the street, she was standing at the improvised bar grabbing as many bottles of wine as she could whilst the Barman was turned away from her. 

She spotted her oldest friend and ran across the road, the bottles in her bag clinking loudly as she moved. Fran put her arms around Bernard’s neck and hugged him quickly 

‘You came!’ she shouted drunkenly

‘Yes, yes, here I am’ Bernard sighed, his Irish accent filled with sarcasm 

‘Shall we go back to the shop? I have lots of wine’ she smiled back at him

Bernard nodded, pathetically grateful for her suggestion. They walked side by side through the New Year’s crowds, the people around them hugging or kissing passionately as they waited for the bells to toll in the New Year. The pair reached the door to Black Books and Bernard pulled out his keys, opening the lock and ushering Fran inside where it was warm.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
An hour and two bottles of wine later, the pair sat on the floor of the shop, Bernard’s mood had improved slightly and he smiled at Fran when she discussed her latest date and how disastrous it had been, he had gotten drunk, flopped on top of her a few times before cumming on her lower stomach then vomited over the side of her bed

‘Have you ever been in love Bernard?’ Fran asked, downing the wine in her glass before filling it to the brim again

‘Only her, the one who died’ Bernard shrugged nonchalantly

Fran said nothing, she knew that Emma wasn’t dead, but now wasn’t the time to discuss it. She swallowed another gulp of wine 

‘I don’t think I have, I don’t even think I’ve had an orgasm’ she said before coughing, where did that come from?! She hadn’t planned on it coming out

Bernard stilled for a moment, he had to admit, and he had always found Fran sexually attractive. He could never have her of course; he was too angry, too bitter. 

‘Not even alone?’ He found himself asking

Fran shook her head, sighing 

‘I get tingles, it feels nice, but I always feel like there is a barrier which I can’t get over’ she said quietly 

Bernard stopped for a moment… could he do this? He put down his wine glass and leaned forward, pressing his lips gently to Fran’s. 

Fran stiffened in shock before calming herself; she had wanted this since she met the sexy Irishman 

She deepened the kiss, her tongue slipping out and over his dry bottom lip; there is a taste of cheap wine, cigarette smoke and lust. It was better than she could ever have hoped, his tongue met hers and they began caressing one another slowly, dancing a drunken dance together. Bernard’s hands stroke through her short hair, it felt silky and soft between his fingers and he feels her groan into his mouth, pushing her drunken body further into his.

Fran pulls away momentarily to put her glass down before threading her fingers into Bernard’s dark curls, she pulls him in for another kiss before beginning to lower her hands to his throat, she pulls his jacket away from his shoulders allowing it to fall to the floor, her hands reach for the buttons on his rumpled shirt and she begins unbuttoning them, looking into his eyes as she slowly removes his clothing piece by piece. Her fingers trace down his soft neck, over the exposed bones of his collar, down his smooth chest untouched by coarse hair until he’s sitting topless, she moves towards him giving small butterfly kisses down his neck and behind his ear, hearing his breath hitch causes a bolt of pleasure down her spine and into her stomach. 

‘Fran, let me see you’ he whispered into her ear, moving his hands to grab at the pretty top which covered her lithe body. She nodded and helped him to pull the fabric over her head

Bernard’s eyes widened when they finally saw his friend’s chest for the first time, she was wearing a pretty pale blue bra with lace around the edges and her small breasts were pushed up into a dramatic cleavage. Bernard kissed the twin mounds and flicked his tongue out occasionally to taste the aroma of her skin, a mixture of feminine sweat, her perfume and her own body. He couldn’t remember the last time his cock was so hard and he tried to shift his cock to make the friction more bearable

Fran noticed Bernard’s obvious discomfort and lowered her hands to his trouser openings, she opened the button easily and pulled the material, she tapped Bernard’s side to tell him to lift his hips so she could pull down his pants, letting them pool at his ankles until he flicked them off. Fran licked her lips at seeing Bernard naked.

His cock stood erect from the mass of black curls, the tip was red and angry looking and left a trail of wetness onto his stomach each time he moved. Fran bent forward taking the tip into her mouth and tasting Bernard’s musky taste on her tongue, she groaned and sucked harder, slipping slightly more of his shaft into her throat, Bernard moaned and grabbed at Fran’s hair; he moved her fringe away from her face so he could watch his cock being swallowed by his friend.

Fran moved her hand lower to rub at Bernard’s large balls, she felt him tense slightly before relaxing at her touch. Bernard realised that he wouldn’t last long, he hadn’t had sex for months and he hadn’t even pleasured himself in that time, this vision of Fran with her lips wrapped around his cock was too erotic for him to last 

‘Fran… Fran, I can’t, oh god’ Bernard gasped, his hands grabbing fistfuls of Fran’s dark hair

Fran looked up at Bernard’s lust filled face, she realised she couldn’t stop, she couldn’t tease him with his release so she continued sucking and stroking

Bernard stiffened and tensed, his whole body taught until his orgasm hit him hard, his cum shooting into Fran’s warm mouth, she swallowed as best she could but it was such a large load, some dripped from the corners of her mouth onto her chest. Bernard gasped and relaxed his hands in Fran’s hair, his chest heaved with each breath and his cheeks blushed a dark red

Fran finished swallowing and rubbed the remaining cum into her skin, his cum tasted bad, like cigarettes and stale wine and she wasn’t sure she could take anymore without vomiting but he didn’t seem to notice. She reached for her glass and took a large gulp, allowing it to swish around her mouth and take away the nasty taste of semen

‘We need more wine’ Fran suggested, standing with a drunken wobble and walking to the kitchen where they had left the bottles, she picked one at random and brought it back to the shop, sitting back onto the floor

‘can i… y’know… if you want’ Bernard stuttered

Fran nodded quickly, downing another glass of wine before pulling her skirt up around her waist, flashing her matching blue lacy pants at Bernard. Her dark pubic hair pushing against the material caused Bernard to growl low in his throat, he had always had a love of pubic hair, he didn’t understand this new fad of looking like a child and this only made her more appealing to the Irishman 

Bernard kissed a trail down Fran’s toned stomach, his stubble scratching at her skin until he reached her panty covered mound, he pushed his finger into the leg of her underwear and pulled it aside, the smell of her arousal hitting his nostrils and causing his cock to stiffen again. His tongue flicked out and tasted her for the first time ever

She tasted of honey; Bernard moaned and used his finger and thumb to open her folds before licking and sucking her nub into his mouth, his tongue flicking side to side over the swollen bunch of nerves. His finger moved lower until he reached her opening, sliding one finger into her wetness he continued his licking at her clit, causing her to moan and groan loudly, her hands grabbing into his messy hair

‘Oh Bernard, Bernard, Oh god’ She chanted

He smiled and inserted another finger slowly; she was tight, extremely tight and hot. He flicked his fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion until he found the raised bump of her Gspot, he stroked harder, keeping constant friction on her nerves causing her back to arch from the floor, her legs trapping his head in a vice like grip

Bernard could tell she was close to orgasm, he had always enjoyed preforming oral on his companions and had never had any complaints over his skill, he continued to lick and tease her clit whilst finger fucking her fast and hard, his other hand released the fabric of her pants keeping them in place before pulling her breast from her bra and pinching the dusky pink nipple between his fingers

‘Ohhh Fuuuuuuuuck’ Fran screamed; her back arching and her legs shaking with the sensations of her first orgasm. Her legs squeezing Bernard’s head as her climax hit

Bernard removed his fingers carefully and slowly, giving Fran’s thighs a gentle stroke to reassure her that everything was good before drying his face on the back of his hand and gulping down more wine

‘Bernard… that was… it was…’ Fran whimpered unable to finish sentences as her fuzzy brain hummed with the force of her release. 

Bernard laughed gently, stroking Fran’s hair away from her face as she placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

‘Let’s get pizza’ he suggested, picking up the phone from the desk  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the pizza delivery driver had arrived; Bernard and Fran ate and chatted easily. There was no embarrassment or regret in their actions and they finished off another bottle of wine between them. They were drunk, happy and giggling in one another’s company and neither of them realised that they were edging closer to one another again, their lips meeting before they were even aware of their movements. Fran lay on her back on the floor, she had pulled off her skirt and bra and was clad in only her skimpy panties, and 

Bernard was completely naked and began to cover her body with his own placing kisses onto her pale, soft skin

His cock was hard and he lined it up to her entrance, he wasn’t sure whether to stop but when he looked down at Fran’s face, he realised she needed it as much as he did. She smiled up at him and opened her legs, wrapping them around his hips and angling her pelvis to push the tip of Bernard inside of her. 

Bernard sighed at the heat which engulfed his prick, he thrust himself into her in one quick movement, her head fell backwards and her lips opened wide at the feeling of being stretched around his wide girth. Bernard’s hips thrust forward, pulling him out slightly before pushing back inside; Fran met his thrusts, her hand moving between their bodies to rub at her clit quickly

‘Oh Bernard, Oh’ she groaned, her long nails scraping down his chest causing Bernard to hiss in pain

The pair kissed deeply again, their tongues meeting in a lusty embrace. Their bodies slammed together with the slap of sweaty skin on skin, their groans echoing around the empty shop. Their orgasms building, harder, faster, deeper, 

The toll of Big Ben signalled the New Year, fireworks exploded somewhere outside the shop and in the distance the pair could hear ‘Auld Lang Syne’ being sung by a thousand drunken voices, 

The pleasure was too much for the couple and their climax hit them together, Bernard releasing his seed deep inside Fran’s wet mound, their groans and sighs mixed in their mouths as their kiss continued. 

After a few moments of heavy breathing, Bernard pulled his softening cock out of Fran and rolled to his side, Fran lifted her head to rest upon Bernard’s chest, hearing the soft ‘thump-thump’ of his heartbeat

‘Happy new year’ Bernard said sleepily, placing a kiss on the top of her head

Fran didn’t reply; she was already deep asleep.


End file.
